April Fools....NOT

This month has seriously blown by fast. In less than three months I will be graduating and I'm anticipating it more and more. I'm just not happy with Bayside. Although thats where I've met some of the most amazing people in my life that I cannot live without, and pretty much saved me [literally]. I'm ready to move on [even though this won't be the same later on]. I really think I screwed up, though its not as much as many other people, I am not satisfied with myself and all the things that I've done. This day has been so depressing mainly because of everything I feel that I haven't accomplished.
I really regret not working hard in freshman and sophomore year. Good grades are really important to me now and I'm working 5x as hard as I've ever worked before and yet it doesn't seem like I'm progressing. The cumulative average on my transcrip inches up really slowly and it's really stressing me out.
I really hate all the drama and just the people in high school. I don't want to sound hypocritical but i find a lot of people really annoying now a days. These freshmen and middle schoolers are all about whos dating who, whos screwing who, and peopel who believe they have to constantly prove themselves to be worth something when all theyre doing is making themselves look stupid. I'm sick of seeing all this drama and taking thhe damn bus to school every 6 in the morning. Especially this one girl who has her fcking iphone out everyday and talking until her mouth is dry, its like she cannot shut up even if her life depended on it. I'm glad won't be dealing with this as soon as I start taking the train to school =].
Another goal I had was to be more outgoing, yet I find myself isolating myself more than ever. Maybe I am just a hostile bitter asian chick that is just meant to be alone. I get freaked out in large crowds and I find it hard to really put myself out there and just be open to everyone. I am who I am and theres probably nothing that can change that, even though its something I don't really like.
In the end, no matter what other people say, I AM THE FOOL. This has been one of the most depressing days since 8th grade. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better one.
Peace

The 100th Post :D

Well according to blogspot that is. It's been hard trying to get on the computer since my sister is a selfish ass and hogs the laptop to herself. Since daddy bought another laptop [since he's fed up with her ass too], it's going to be a bit easier for me to get on and stuff =].
So after deliberating and getting fcking waitlisted for SUNY Buffalo (I still didn't hear back from Albany yet), I've decided to go to HUNTER COLLEGE. I've set my heart out there and I'm going this fall and surprisingly, I CANNOT WAIT.
I also got new glasses. Calvin Klein frames. They're kinda tick rimmed, but not too thick and its squarish. It's pretty cool. I can see better with them but I'm not used to them so they feel really strong but I'll manage.
Tonight, I shall take an advil and call an old friend. It feels like it has been a while =]

Sneezing like crazy too. asfshgalifkghdf,gdfg

snow day

yeah normally i would be happy but not today. i'm hella pissed.
we havent had a snow day in over 5 years, literally-to the point where the term 'snow day' has just become a myth. we can get a foot of snow and still have to go to school. okay, we got like 5 inches of snow, everything is running slow but still...running. i take the fcking bus all the way to school just to see the custodial staff say "NO SCHOOL". wtffff. i watched the news from 5-6am, did they let the world know that public schools are closed after i left the house? yeah, people are brilliant because they dont fucking consider the fact that not everyone has just a 1/2 hr walk or commute from the school. i waited out there in the cold for the Q31, which came late by the way and i'm surprised to see that my toes aren't frostbitten. but besides the fact that i'm still sorta sick and i have a little bit of trouble hearing things in my right ear, i think im doin okay.
now to spend the rest of my day (from now - 4pm) chilling out at home before i have to go to work.
MY LIFE FCKING SUCKS.