ughh

its just not freakin worth it anymore -.-

everything is fucked up

my life, my job, my so called friends. Thanks for asking what up

this letter

Dear _ _ _ _,
i love you so fucking much. If only you knew...
Sincerely,
broken and hopeless...

hm

its really weird. I'm feeling really depressed today. I'm not upset that high school is over, i think thats its all the things that were left unsaid... I mean that has to be part of it even though i'll be seeing everyone on wed and thursday. But all the things that are running through my head will inevitably be left unsaid because it wasn't meant to be and that hurts me so fucking much.

The prom rant cont'd

Yea, after all that stress was gone, i forgot to take into consideration that everyone is going to be talking about it so once again stfu stfu stfu. And for some i know them are going to intentionally make of feel bad, some just won't shut up more that others and for those that plan to tell me 'you should have come' i will claw their fucking eyes out. And on another note, most people looked so ugly all 'dolled up' ironic no? Yea, everyone just looked horrible so for those who spent so much money on prom, haha you still looked like crap :) i on the other hand, ate too much ice cream and drank more than i ever would. No... I'm becoming an alcoholic!

Prom

STFU STFU STFU.
Why can't everyone just shut up about prom.
"Prom is so stressful omg." Are you fcking kidding me? Prom is as stressful as you make it.
1. Buying a dress - you don't need to have a unique dress to go to promm. Fck you shouldn't even be too worried about wearing a dress in the first place, there isn't a dress code! Don't go all out to get something custom made so you "stand out". Not everyone is gonna see you anyway. Fck, why do people buy dresses MONTHS in advance and then get soo worried about not fitting into it later.
2. Filling a limo - Okay first of all, A LIMO IS NOT A NECESSITY! You're seriously going to pay $100 to take a limo ride 10 min to Flushing Meadow Park? Are you serious. There is nothing wrong with having your parents drive you to prom and then picking you up afterwards. Not only is it 10x cheaper, its less of a hassle.
3. Filling a table - okay, yeah this is required, but had you been organized, and actually have close friends, FILLING UP TABLE WOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM. Ask early, and confirm this with them, if they change plans, they're obviously not good friends you would want to have at your table anyway.
Everyone seriously needs to shut up, planning for prom is not stressful, YOU'RE THE ONES THAT MAKE IT STRESSFUL. I'M FCKING STRESSED OUT FROM HEARING ALL THIS FCKING NONSENSE BULLSHIT FROM EVERYONE THAT HAS BEEN GOING ON THIS PAST MONTH OR SO. STFU STFU STFU.
I hope everyone has a shitty time, fcking bitches.

Movie with Lainers&Kai

Saw 17 Again and it was HI-LARIOUS. It was awkward during some moments but really funny. I didn't understand why there was a class trip of like elementary school kids watching it right in front of us. They were soo immature about it, like the kissing and the moderate swearing.
&The Johnny Rockets Oreo Cookies and Cream milkshake never disappoints. I really want another one right now.
MUST FINISH HOMEWORK

mellow

Thats a first. I'm feeling...just... fine.
I got my ipod to cooperate with me. Took me lots of patience and researching but I did it. It was all because of a stupid little check box. ugh.
Rearranged my room again. Though it feels really weird when I sleep, I like looking at my room and see that its so spacious =].
Should start homework soon

Math Placement

AND WHY THE HELL DID THEY HAVE TO GIVE ME THE MATH PLACEMENT EXAM DURING SPRING BREAK. UGHHHH. I DON'T REMEMBER THIS CRAPPPP >=O

EDITT
It wasn't that bad. I kinda enjoyed it since I'm such a math nerd. lol.
I forgot all the trig equations though. But its not like I'm going to use them again. I hate coordinate planes too. I have trouble with those as well. I hope I did well =] because if I'm put back in precal again, I won't be happy [since I have to pay for it]

Expelled

What kind of bullshit is this. OMFG.
So like a while ago, my mom decides to disconnect the phone line since no one in our family uses it. I don't even bother telling my school about it since I'm graduating in about 2 months.
Now my school won't stop harassing me. WTF.
I was pulled out of math today to the deans office. First off, I didn't even know where the deans office is. I only remember it because I kept replacing my student ID. Then to make my day even better, I had to fucking deal with Gappelberg. First off, I wanted to punch her in the stomach for sophomore year when I, and the rest of the class, failed chemistry because of her stupid ass. And then I see how my mom's cell number on the paper I wrote out was crossed out and said it was the wrong number. Hello, it's the 21st fucking century, you cannot possibly tell me that YOU CAN'T TELL THAT WAS FUCKING VOICEMAIL, shes obviously not gonna answer since you decide to call her at 10AM. Then goes on telling me that if this shit isn't done, my metrocard will be dropped, I will be constantly be pulled out of class, and my program will be dropped. So basically, if i don't give them a "working" phone, they threaten to expell me. I hope they fucking do because they're gonna have hell to pay. CUZ THE PEOPLE IN BAYSIDE ARE SO FUCKING STUPID! FIRST DININ AND THE COLLEGE OFFICE, AND NOW GAPPELBERG AND THE REST OF HER OFFICE!!!!!
And on top of all that, Diana deleted the voicemail that was left on my moms phone with all of her instructions. Thanks a lot, you're a realy fucking genious.
I [almost] totally hate this day.

April Fools....NOT

This month has seriously blown by fast. In less than three months I will be graduating and I'm anticipating it more and more. I'm just not happy with Bayside. Although thats where I've met some of the most amazing people in my life that I cannot live without, and pretty much saved me [literally]. I'm ready to move on [even though this won't be the same later on]. I really think I screwed up, though its not as much as many other people, I am not satisfied with myself and all the things that I've done. This day has been so depressing mainly because of everything I feel that I haven't accomplished.
I really regret not working hard in freshman and sophomore year. Good grades are really important to me now and I'm working 5x as hard as I've ever worked before and yet it doesn't seem like I'm progressing. The cumulative average on my transcrip inches up really slowly and it's really stressing me out.
I really hate all the drama and just the people in high school. I don't want to sound hypocritical but i find a lot of people really annoying now a days. These freshmen and middle schoolers are all about whos dating who, whos screwing who, and peopel who believe they have to constantly prove themselves to be worth something when all theyre doing is making themselves look stupid. I'm sick of seeing all this drama and taking thhe damn bus to school every 6 in the morning. Especially this one girl who has her fcking iphone out everyday and talking until her mouth is dry, its like she cannot shut up even if her life depended on it. I'm glad won't be dealing with this as soon as I start taking the train to school =].
Another goal I had was to be more outgoing, yet I find myself isolating myself more than ever. Maybe I am just a hostile bitter asian chick that is just meant to be alone. I get freaked out in large crowds and I find it hard to really put myself out there and just be open to everyone. I am who I am and theres probably nothing that can change that, even though its something I don't really like.
In the end, no matter what other people say, I AM THE FOOL. This has been one of the most depressing days since 8th grade. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better one.
Peace

The 100th Post :D

Well according to blogspot that is. It's been hard trying to get on the computer since my sister is a selfish ass and hogs the laptop to herself. Since daddy bought another laptop [since he's fed up with her ass too], it's going to be a bit easier for me to get on and stuff =].
So after deliberating and getting fcking waitlisted for SUNY Buffalo (I still didn't hear back from Albany yet), I've decided to go to HUNTER COLLEGE. I've set my heart out there and I'm going this fall and surprisingly, I CANNOT WAIT.
I also got new glasses. Calvin Klein frames. They're kinda tick rimmed, but not too thick and its squarish. It's pretty cool. I can see better with them but I'm not used to them so they feel really strong but I'll manage.
Tonight, I shall take an advil and call an old friend. It feels like it has been a while =]

Sneezing like crazy too. asfshgalifkghdf,gdfg

snow day

yeah normally i would be happy but not today. i'm hella pissed.
we havent had a snow day in over 5 years, literally-to the point where the term 'snow day' has just become a myth. we can get a foot of snow and still have to go to school. okay, we got like 5 inches of snow, everything is running slow but still...running. i take the fcking bus all the way to school just to see the custodial staff say "NO SCHOOL". wtffff. i watched the news from 5-6am, did they let the world know that public schools are closed after i left the house? yeah, people are brilliant because they dont fucking consider the fact that not everyone has just a 1/2 hr walk or commute from the school. i waited out there in the cold for the Q31, which came late by the way and i'm surprised to see that my toes aren't frostbitten. but besides the fact that i'm still sorta sick and i have a little bit of trouble hearing things in my right ear, i think im doin okay.
now to spend the rest of my day (from now - 4pm) chilling out at home before i have to go to work.
MY LIFE FCKING SUCKS.

virus'

211 "threats" found on my computer [aka virus']
195 removed

restarted computer-everything fcked up.
call BJ

downloaded malwarebytes' and love it.

found 5 different types of trojans in 20+ different files
currently searching through the rest of my files.

yay me =( at least my computer is somewhat stable now

BJ is my savior :D

hwwwwwww

ackk crap.
I knew i should not have procrastinated.
now i don't even want to start.
so much to do, so little time...well not yet anyways.

I got fatter too >.<

Updateeeee

Damn, I hate forgetting to go on this thing.
Dec 31:
Kristine calls me at like 12 in the afternoon and says "We're [Elaine & Kristine] are coming over"
...okay
Later in the day they show up at my house with an Easybake oven. Merry Christmas.
Then we went to Subways which was pretty funny because thats probably the most Asians anyone there has ever seen under one roof and I guess with that the guy expected us to get the same sandwich. Haha. Wrong. We wanted completely different things. He got confused. It was funnyyy. xD
Jan 30 - Feb 1:
Seniorrr Tripp. Pinegrove (which totally sucks mann)
I had the most amazing time with my roomies [Elaine, Isbella, JingJing, Lisa]. Though we totally didn't get to do all the things that we wanted to do, we had a wonderful bonding time and I'm glad they were my room mates cuz if not, I don't know what I would have done without them. <33
Though YELLOW BUS won the contest and got themselves a bagel and juice, red bus was totally the winners. We brought 16+ bottles of water, I brought 10 packs of capri sun [and so did Kai], and we each had a bagful of snacks. Yeah, we were totally the winners there.

The water smelled and tasted like chlorine, and the food was disgusting. And on the last day when I could have totally sang karaoke with my friends, I was stuck in the bathroom throwing up everything that I ate. Stupid Shit.
Fun Times at Senior Trip
-Having a mob of people from our school sing Happy Birthday to Stacy
[whos Stacy???] lmaos
-CROSS DRESSING CONTEST!. Dressing up B.J.

-Archery
-Getting stuck on that rock climbing wall
-Getting stuck in ice in the middle of the playground
-Pushing that stupid fat bitch that cut me in line when we were getting food >=]
-Realizing what incredibly amazing friends that I have <333


Feb 3:
Report Cards:
English: 90
PreCal: 97
Government: 90
AP Psychology: 89
Guitar: 100
GYM: 90
Overall: 95.something
Classes: English 102, AP Psychology, Calculus, Economics, Guitar, Health

Feb 4:
Rest In Peace Grandpa.
My last grandparent is gone. I'm gonna miss him!
Apparently he fell and hit his head and didn't think it was that big of a deal. Turns out that when he hit his head, he had internal bleeding in his head for a couple of days before he started throwing up and my family rushed him to the hospital.
He was the one I was closest to, and was an amazing cook =]. It sucks that my mom couldn't go back and go to his funeral.

Feb 7:
WINTER JAM
Had a lot of fun with SFM making pipe cleaner snowboarders and skiers. Their Italian sandwich was really good. Then we walked on over to whole foods to invade their bathroom, then to Chinatown to eat. yum. fun day! Even though ana still owes me 1/2 a sandwich! >=[

Feb 10:
My second iPod...or should I say ritaPodxD. I promise I'll take care of my ipod better this time. It's a 16GB blue 4th generation Nano. Big enough to hold all 2300+ songs on my computer and more =].

Feb 15:
Wii Wii Wii Wii Wii.
I've been getting a workout playing tennis everyday. Dare I say it, I think I like golf more =O. I need to get dance dance revolution and a dance pad for it.

Feb 17:
I HAVE A JOB. A job that I've been waiting for =]. Now I'm finally getting paid for all my hard work. On the downside, I don't have as much freedom as I normally do. And this whole work crap is actually interfering with my social life, I mean, of what little social life that I have. Ehh whatever. Maybe now I can buy myself a new phone. It feels good to actually work and buy something for yourself. I wish I could work more hours though.

Welps. That's it for now...I guess =]

Twilight...

With all the crazy obsessions everyone has these days over Twilight and its series, I decided to pick it up and read it to see what everyone was so crazy about. The first book I've read on my own (meaning, not assigned in school) and finished these past couple of years and I am seriously upset. I thought it was total crap. I think the style she wrote the book was no better than the style I would write my stories (and that is NOT good). About 80% of book was all corny and retarded, I didn't even pay attention to what was going on anymore. How is it that this long ass book starts to interest me at chapter 18. If I wasn't so determine to actually finish a book (which is a great accomplishment for me), I would have put the book down long before & returned it to the library. Yeah, no.
Though with all this, I must admit, the way she described Edward was fantastic =] probably the most perfect guy ever.
So in conclusion, I do not like this book & if I were a boy, I would hate it even more (unless I was gay of course ;)

To my dear Angela Quach

I love you oh so much. You make me sound so smart because I'm not.
Thanks for always being there to revise my crappy English papers
YOU'RE SO AWESOME X]
And as a little gift from me to you
*DRUMROLL PLEASEEEEE*

24!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you =]

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY DIANA!